二胎算啥,我们家有6胎!老外聊大家庭成长的滋味丨CD电台

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本文转自念念英文（echo_eng），已获授权

不知道大家的童年是怎么过的，作为独生子女，小编虽然节假日还是能和表姐表弟们聚在一起愉（上）快（房）玩（揭）耍（瓦），但是大部分的时候还是得靠自己找乐子的。当然也有好处，比如零食玩具都是自己的，不用忍痛割爱和人分享。

大多数美国人都有至少一个兄弟姐妹。那么在多子女的大家庭里成长是一种什么样的体验呢？我们的主播大卫哥他爹妈就生了6个，他排行老三，家里哥、姐、弟、妹都全了，很具有代表性。今天我们就请他聊一聊自己的感受~

- Q1 -

How many kids do American families usually have? Why do they like to have kids? Can you briefly introduce your siblings?

美国家庭一般都有几个孩子？为什么他们喜欢要孩子呢？能简单介绍一下你的兄弟姐妹吗？

The ideal American family is probably parents with 2 kids, a boy and a girl, with 1 or 2 pets.

理想的美国家庭的组成应该是两口子加两个孩子，一儿一女，再养一两只宠物。

As for the reason they like to have kids, I feel like a lot of Americans don’t really think about it very much. They are just like, OK now I am banging this person. Oh she is pregnant. Ok we have some kids now. It seems like the more people think about having kids, the fewer kids they’ll have.

至于为什么他们喜欢要孩子，我觉得很多美国人没考虑那么多。他们多半是睡了，有了，就要了呗。这事儿不能多想，考虑得越多就越不想要了。

There are some who think having a kid could fix their broken relationship. And, there are some types of Christians who think it’s their duty to fill the earth with people, sometimes there were social pressures to have kids, like because all their friends are having babies and in order to keep up, people get their own babies.

有些人是为了拯救濒危的关系而要的孩子；有些人（基督徒）把孕育下一代看作他们的使命；有些人也会因为社会压力而要孩子，比如朋友圈都开始晒娃了，他们觉得自己也得生一个才能跟上大家的节奏。

There might also be cultural reasons or family pressure that make people want to have kids. Of course,there are some people who have kids just because they love kids. I know a couple who decided that they wanted to have 8 children, just because they love having kids!

还有一些人是因为传统文化或者家庭压力而要孩子；当然，也有纯因为爱小孩而生孩子的人。我就认识一对这样的夫妻，两口子都喜欢小孩，所以他们决定要8个！

As for my family, in addition to my mom and dad, I have 5 siblings. So it was 8 of us while I was growing up. Three boys and three girls, which is a big family even in the US, because my parents love kids. I’m the third one in line. I have a big sister. She is married and she just had her second child. She now has a baby girl who is 5-ish and a baby boy who is newborn. They are both super super cute.

我家除了我爸妈，还有5个兄弟姐妹，我小时候家里有8个人（爸、妈、加6个孩子）。三男三女，即使是在美国，这也算是一个大家庭了，因为我爸妈很爱小孩。我排行第三，老大是个姐姐。她已经结婚了，刚刚生了第二个小孩，现在有一儿一女，大的5岁是个女儿，刚生的那个是儿子。他们都很可爱。

Then I have an older brother who is also married. Their first child, a girl, is going to be born any day now. They have two handsome cats named Boris and Plushka.

老二是我哥哥，他们的第一个小孩是个女儿，马上就要出生了。他们家还有两只很漂亮的猫，叫 Boris 和 Plushka。

And then there is me. I’m married with no children on the way; not planning on it yet either. But we plan on having a dog and a pig at some point, to test out our parenting skills before deciding on making a tiny human. We already decided the names for them. The dog will be Peach and the pig will be Scooter. They will be best friends.

我是老三，我也结婚了，暂时还没计划要小孩。在造人之前，我们打算先养一只狗和一只猪来测试一下我们是否hold得住。名字已经想好了，狗叫桃子，猪叫滚滚，他们会是亲密小伙伴。

I’ve got two younger sisters. The first one I call my middle sister so that all of my sisters have a unique title. She just got engaged to her boyfriend, and we are very excited for them. I’m not sure if they want kids or not.

我有两个妹妹，排行第四的我叫她大妹。她和男朋友刚订婚，大家都为他们感到高兴。不过我不确定他们想不想生娃。

Then I have my little brother. He is married. They are trying to get pregnant, and I bet that they will have a really cute chubby baby. They also have an old cat named Marco.

然后老五是个弟弟，他结婚了，正在备孕中，我敢打赌他们肯定会有一个可爱的小胖宝宝。他们家也养了一只猫，它有点老了，叫 Marco。

Then there is my little sister. She is dating a guy, but not married and no kids, thankfully. She is enjoying life right now.

老六就是我的小妹妹，她正在和某个男生交往，还没结婚，幸好也没小孩。她很享受现在的人生。

Most of them are settled down in the mid-west of the US, except for my little sister who is adventuring in New Zealand. We reunite once or twice a year, usually at my parents’ house. It is nice to have a big family for holidays.

我们家大部分人都住在美国的中西部，我的小妹妹在新西兰。我们每年都会在我爸妈家聚个一两次，一大家子人聚在一起过节很欢乐。

- Q2 -

How does it feel to grow up in a big family?

在一个大家庭里长大是怎样一种体验？

I guess it felt busy, let’s say. I always feel like being a single child would be boring because you would either be with a bunch of adults all the time or just be by yourself. With having so many siblings, there was always somebody I could hang out with or something to do.

额，就是感觉好忙啊~！我总觉得独生子女会不会很无聊，要么就是跟一堆大人玩，要么就是自己一个人。有众多兄弟姐妹的一个好处就是总能找到人陪。

The downside was that I was in the middle and we all went to the same school. I always ended up being my brother’s little brother instead of being my own person. So people would meet me and they would be like, ‘Oh, yeah, you’re your brother’s brother.’ And I would be like ‘Okay, I mean, my name is David. I matter…not just because of him.’

对我来说也有一个不好的地方。因为我们家的孩子都上的同一所学校，我又是老三，所以我总是活在哥哥的阴影里。人们看到我就会说 “我认识你~ 你是XXX的弟弟！” 搞得我总是想回一句 “我也有名字的好不好，我的存在价值又不只是他弟弟。”

So you know, there are some pros and cons. And another thing with such a big family is that, because we are spread out over 10 years, we got some strange family dynamics: My older brother and sister kind of hung out together; My middle sister and my younger brother hung out a lot together; I kind of did my own thing a lot of the time, which is fine for me because I’m not super social and I’m OK being alone. But then my littlest sister got left out sometimes, and she is very social, so she was unhappy about that sometimes. As adults, we get along, but it can be tough for some kids.

所以你们懂的，（大家庭）有好处也有坏处。像我们家人这么多就还会出现一个问题，因为我们的年龄分布相差超过10岁，导致家庭成员之间的互动有点奇怪：我的哥哥和姐姐喜欢在一起玩；我中间的妹妹和弟弟喜欢在一起玩；我呢，大部分时候就自己一个人玩。这对我来说没什么，因为我本来就不太爱社交；但我的小妹妹就惨了，她是很外向很喜欢和人玩的，但却被大家漏掉了，所以她会觉得不开心。当然，长大了之后我们都相处得很好，但是对于有些小朋友来说，遇到这种被忽略的情况就会很难过。

But we had great times growing up together. We hung out. We played. It was fun. We were generally well behaved kids back then and we had lots of toys. So I can’t recall fighting over anything. I think my parents did a pretty good job of teaching us to share and not be selfish assholes. They were very good at being fair to everyone.

总体来说我们几个很快乐地一起玩儿，一起长大。记忆中我们都属于比较乖的孩子，而且玩具巨多，所以我不记得我们有争过什么东西。我觉得我爸妈把我们教的很好，很注意教我们学会分享，不能自私，对每个人也很公平。

We didn’t really fight for our parent’s love, but because of the strange family dynamics that I talked about, the way we interacted with our parents was different. So I didn’t interact much with our parents because I kind of flew under the radar for everybody.

我们不会去争夺父母的爱，但是因为我之前提到的那种奇怪的家庭互动，我们每个人和父母的相处方式都有点不同。像我和他们的互动就不多，因为我习惯了保持低调。

I was the one that everybody likes but who didn’t interact with anybody. My little sister hung out with my mom all the time, partly because all of us other kids were sort of doing our own thing and she was a lot smaller than us but still needed a friend. So she developed a closer relationship with my mom.
基本上家里每个人都喜欢我，但我还是喜欢自己玩。小妹妹经常和我妈待在一起，因为其他人都已经组队，她年纪太小了带不动，但是她又需要人陪，所以她跟我妈最亲近。

It’s fairly common, I think, for the middle child to get overlooked and it probably depends on their personality whether it’s a good or bad thing. For me, it was a good thing. I could do whatever I wanted. There were no real expectations on me either.
通常来说，处在中间的小孩都很容易被忽略，但这事儿是好是坏，还是取决于个人性格。对于我来说这是件好事，因为我可以爱干嘛干嘛，他们对我也没什么特别期望。

They trusted me to the point they didn’t even make rules for me or didn’t even tell me that rules were in place. When I got to high school, they never set a curfew time, the time that I was supposed to be home. So that one time I stayed out late and they were super confused, because they just never had that talk with me.
我爸妈很信任我，他们对我甚至都没定什么规矩。我高中的时候，他们也从来没要求我几点之前必须回家。所以当我有一次在外面待到很晚才回去的时候，他们也有点懵，这才意识到从来没跟我交代过这件事。

So fighting for parents’ love is not so much a problem in our family, it’s just that the relationships are different because we were different and have different needs. But our parents did have to be very careful about giving gifts to us for holidays like Christmas, making sure that we got about the same number and the same cost roughly of gifts. It was their job to be concerned because they chose to have six children! But I think they did a great job on that.
所以，我们家没有争宠的问题，只是因为每个人的性格、需求不同，和父母的关系自然也会有点不一样。但有一点比较难办，就是过年过节给我们买礼物的时候，爸妈会特别注意，保证我们每个人得到的礼物价钱都差不多。有什么办法呢？谁让他们自己要生6个的~ 不过说实话，我觉得他们这方面做得很好。

- Q3 -

Do you remember how your mom told you that you were going to have a new sibling? How, as far as you remember, did your parents organize the 6 of you?

你记得妈妈是怎么跟你说她怀孕了的吗？你爸妈是怎么管你们6个小孩的？

I personally do not remember how I was told my mom was going to have more kids. But I think I was happy about it. When I got a new sibling, I remember being excited to hold them and hanging out with the baby. I wasn’t ever jealous of them, as far as I remember. We were probably desensitized to the idea of having siblings because there were already a whole bunch of us.

我不记得我妈具体是怎么跟我说的了，但是我记得我很开心。每次有新的弟弟妹妹出生的时候，我都很兴奋地过去抱他们，陪他们一起玩。我从来没有嫉妒过他们，至少记忆里没有，而且我们家对于有新成员这种消息已经完全麻木，因为发生过太多次了。

I would assume my parents just gathered all of us kids together and said ‘So, mom is having another baby soon.’ Or something like that. I don’t really remember. And I think that’s pretty much how most moms here would tell their kids, just announce it. At most, they would probably explain more what a baby is because the kids are too small to understand.

我估计当时是爸妈把我们叫到一起，通知我们：妈妈马上就要生另一个宝宝了。大部分家长应该都是这么做吧，直接说一声就行了，最多会解释一下什么是婴儿，因为小的时候我们都不懂婴儿是啥。

Jealousy can be a problem, I have heard of that happening in some families here. And I guess we will have to see how my niece reacts to her new little brother. She seems to be taking it pretty well. But you can’t really tell with kids sometimes. Maybe it’s just boiling inside and it will come out soon.

（孩子间的）嫉妒有可能是个问题，我听说一些家庭里发生过这样的状况。我得再观察一阵子，才能知道我的侄女对于她刚出生的弟弟是个什么态度，目前她貌似接受得挺好的，但小朋友的心思也难说，也许都憋在了心里，哪天来个大爆发。

Most families here have more than one child. It’s not that special to have another kid in a family. Even if they get jealous, they will get over it. That’s kind of how we feel.

大部分的家庭都不止一个小孩，这种情况并不特殊，所以即使小孩会嫉妒，他们自己也能克服的。

But we do have a baby gender reveal party. It’s a party for close friends and family to tell them the baby’s gender in a special way so that they can plan their gifts accordingly. Like when my sister in law did hers, she made some cupcakes and put M&Ms in them. So in general, the color code for girl is pink and boy is blue, which some people have a problem with, but we are still using it. As we bit into the cupcakes, we found the pink M&Ms, then everyone knew it was a girl!

新生儿快来的时候，我们会开一个宣布宝宝性别的party，邀请家人和好朋友，用一种特别的方式来告诉他们宝宝的性别，以便他们准备礼物。比如我嫂子就烤了一些小蛋糕，然后把M&M豆藏到蛋糕里。通常来说，粉色代表女宝，蓝色代表男宝（虽然有些人抗议这种设定，但我们并不care）。当我们咬开蛋糕的时候，发现了是粉色的M&M豆，就知道我们将要迎来一个女孩儿了~

About how my parents organize us, they mostly made general rules that applied to everybody. So the main thing was to make sure that nobody got singled out, but I do remember we would get new rules based on our age, like when we turned 13, we could stay up an hour or two later. It was applied the day of your birthday, so there were some added benefits of growing up. It was so awesome.

至于我们家的管理办法，其实我爸妈就是会制定一些通用的规矩，确保对所有人都适用，没有遗漏掉。而且到了某个岁数，就会有一些新的规矩。比如到13岁就可以晚睡一两个小时。新规定在生日当天生效，这让我们觉得长大是一种福利，现在想想都觉得好棒啊。

So the most funny rules I can remember is the one I talked about before: before college, no dating;once you start college, go get a wife ASAP. I get why my parents set up this rule, and I would say because of this rule, none of us made any really stupid teenage relationship mistakes.

最搞笑的一条规定我在之前的节目里说过：上大学之前不准谈恋爱；上大学之后要立马找个老婆。我理解他们为啥定这条规矩，也承认这么做的好处 —— 我们家的小孩没有一个因为早恋而做出傻事。

But it also seems like overkill. Because of that rule, none of us were very good at dating and we all had hard times, more or less, to figure out what to do with relationships. They tried their best though, being parents is one of the hardest jobs in the world.

但这也有点矫枉过正的嫌疑。因为这条规定，我们几个孩子都不知道该怎么谈恋爱，感情路上多少都有些不顺。但他们也尽力了吧，我能理解当爹妈的不容易，这绝对是世上最难的工作之一。